A reflective thought on Valentine’s Day

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A reflective thought on Valentine’s Day.

‘Gray Divorce’ is on the rise. This term refers to the phenomenon of the high divorce rate after retirement.  Our lives are very different in retirement when we are spending each other day with our partner or spouse. The structure to our day which we were so used to while working is gone and we are spending much more time together now than previously experienced pre-retirement. A basic thing like ‘sharing space’ and ‘not getting in each other’s hair’ become important issues to discuss and negotiate.

As I have said in many posts to date we are living longer and definitely leading different types of lives than our grandparents and parents have done. People grow and evolve throughout their lifetime and therefore it is possible that one could outgrow a marriage or partnership. As a person negotiates the various phases of life, and their situations evolves, ‘the one’ might not be ‘the one’ at all these various stages. So, it is wonderful if a couple can start out together and wind up together for a lifetime, thinking of each other still as ‘the one’  and still being in love. This is possible when two people consciously work on the relationship, negotiate each phase, and still grow together in the relationship.

Another scenario is where a couple stays together, but in reality, they have a ‘married singles’ arrangement if one looks beneath the surface. The quality of the relationship is lacking, but they have fallen into the habit of being together. Possibly the feeling is that ‘it is not worth the hassle of separating’ even though they have drifted apart emotionally.

So instead of feeling failure in this relationship, having put in conscious effort to work on it, maybe adopt a different view. It could be that one party has outgrown the relationship and it is time to move forward alone. Other relationships  which resonate more with their stage of growth may then appear in their lives. They have now the potential to form another relationship with a more compatible partner, one with whom growing the relationship is possible, with both parties growing individually and the relationship continuing to grow.

We all have the power to choose. Every moment of our lives matter.

The Gift of Additional Years

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We are lucky as many people don’t make it to retirement. On average we are living about 30+ years longer than of great grandparents’ generation. This gift in retirement gives us the opportunity to develop into wholeness; to become wise, demonstrate and pass on wisdom. It is an opportunity to become, experience and live our lives from our authentic selves. A time to live and enjoy life, giving full expression to our uniqueness.
Living from this authentic self we experience life more wholly, more confident, dropping our anxiety; we achieve more in a relaxed way; and we interact with others in more meaningful, considered, and loving ways. We continue to grow and evolve with the higher motivational needs not only ourselves, but also of service to others and of contribution. We are also more attuned with our inner guidance and can get clearer on our purpose and the meaning of our lives.

Do live life on your laurels in retirement

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Many retirees may fall into the trap of the ‘advice giving’ mode and not do much else. Forget about reliving your past. Don’t get stuck in the past grove. Yes, you may have had a great career and achieved a lot. But now, and especially now, is not a time to sit back. We all have gifts and talents so why not find a useful outlet and continue to use them. Or maybe try something totally new. Live life today and every day in the PRESENT.

Retirement – Elation and Excitement V Fear and Dread ?

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Retirement, excitement and elation V fear and dread?

 

Retirement is not just the big day and the retirement send off from work or the retirement party which your family and friends throw for you.

Retirement is a process with a number of steps and stages to it. As with any process it will involve planning, consideration, making the necessary adjustments to see what works for you as the process evolves. Change will be an integral ingredient.

In the beginning you might be all fired up about the prospect of life post work. On the other hand, you may feel anxious about your life ahead in retirement.

You may well get carried away on the bubble and buzz, the energy and the kind words said at your retirement event. The freedom of the retirement bubble may last for several months into your retirement. Reality dawns – you actually have actually made the transition into this significant phase of your life. The probing questions now are:

‘How are you going to fill these additional years?

How are you going to life each day of these years?

Your answers and more importantly your actions which follow will determine the quality of your life from this point onwards.

You may have the financial capability to retire and that is great. You have a plan and have budgeted for your retirement. But are you psychologically prepared? The honeymoon period of retirement can soon fade in the first couple of years. There is only so more activities or holidays which you can fill your time with. You can get bored and find that life now is not as rosy as you had expected it to be. The sheen has worn off and you feel something is missing. But what?

This is where our programme ‘REIGNITE, Rewiring not Retiring – 7 Steps to a fulfilling and purposeful life’ supports you to effectively transition to a most exciting phase of your life.

Your life can be lived with Passion, Power, and Purpose – this is your birthright.

 

Contact Ann on

00353 87 2771317 or

[email protected]

4- Day Reflection – Tuning Into Joy

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This 4-Day Reflection – Tuning in Joy runs on 27th-30th November for 20 mins each morning at 07.00 GMT.

Each morning we will look at a heart and mind quality to cultivate and develop Joy in our lives.

Join me on zoom.

Zoom Link Details are below:

Meeting ID 667 341 0938
Security checked Passcode 2023

Invite Link https://us05web.zoom.us/j/6673410938?
https://us05web.zoom.us/j/6673410938?